So I've never really been one for a blog....... I've kept a diary since....FOREVER and as I've got older I've become lazier at keeping it updates.....I tend to only write in it when I've had my heart broken or i feel like shit but now i don't even do that and I've suddenly realised how important it is to keep a record of stuff even if it is rubbish teenagey angsty shit...
So i guess I'll start with today.... i learnt today that "john" my boyfriend re-added a girl he had previously visited whilst on holiday but had lied to me about it.... a girl he had, had sex with before in the past. Now as far as i know they're not "friends" they're fuck buddies...when she comes here they hook up....and vice versa...... So why did he lie to me about going to see her? A question which since the day i found out five months ago has plagued me continually.... Why would he do that?
I did end up confronting him a week after i found out.... he told me he hid it from me because he didn't want to upset me.... How does that make sense? My ex cheated on me and one of the main things I've always said to "john" is that i don't care what it is you've got to tell me, just make sure what you're telling me is the truth. He insisted to me that nothing happened...that they're just good friends....but if that was TRUE why lie about it??
I'm friends with my exes..... I've introduced "john" to them before.... I've NEVER hid it from him if i was going to meet them or hang out with them. I've never lied to him about my actions.
So today...i find he's added her on facebook again..... and i can't even fathom why... i don't even know why he deleted her in the face place....but why has she suddenly popped back into his mind?
Right now I'm so confused, we've had so many up and downs lately that i just don't know why we're together...... i love him but i don't think i trust him.... and it makes me feel so much sadness.
